Friday, January 2, 2009

When it all surfaces

This is where I get emo/whiny/deep and vent all my troubles. This is where I talk about all the recent activities of mine that caused no emotion at the time but instead stored them away for later. Now is that later. I have come to the (very) slow realization that some actions have been so far out of my character in the past few months. Maybe so far that I was unable to grasp the reality of them. However far away, they were far enough to void a normal reaction or shock. I would love to be a 'dgaf' and say 'no regrets' but not possible. Who doesn't regret saying/doing something wrong or holding back from saying/doing something you know you should of, something that could've change a situation completely. I believe every regret, mistake, or misfortune adds to a person's growth and always has a reason for happening. Hard to coupe with, but truthful.
New Year's resolutions. People make them and rarely stick to them. I do not normally make any, but this year I want to change that. I want 2009 to bring unity, love and success. Details left out for sake of... well they just don't need to be explained and I do not have 2 days to explain them. I know their meaning, their specifics and am praying I can at least work my way towards the goals. I need to get my head back on. Not go back to 'how I was' or 'be myself again' because obviously I am still being myself... it is quite impossible to be anyone else. My need is to take my new happenings and twist my reactions so that they are not in denial of events that have happened or ignoring it all together, but make it so that I face reality and process all that it entitles like a healthy minded being. Is anyone healthy minded tho? I mean definition of the term please. I believe my friends and I decided today that no one is sane. We are all crazy in our minds it is just a matter of whether you say that craziness out loud. So let me rephrase that statement... I would like to process life so that I can continue in it with a new knowledge from every moment. Its the only way to live it to its full potential.

Now... I believed that is Emo enough. I will cut it there and run off to read my girly magazine advice articles ha I have become 'one of those girls'

I make myself sick. And I should go talk to Shelbs who is down for a visit. Aaaaannnnddd I miss Kari terribly.... although am oh so proud of my lil lady=) love you woman

Over. and. out.